so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
