Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize