Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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