4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
