I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Too much gin, very little bucket
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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