Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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