The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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