My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
