I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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