Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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