Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
