Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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