Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
