I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
