I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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