Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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