I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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