i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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