I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
