you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
