Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
