Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize