I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
