i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
