she was so not down for the gang bang
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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