theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
