just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize