I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My cat gives me a boner
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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