Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
