It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
