buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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