we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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