do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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