i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize