Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
