so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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