Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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