I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
