Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize