Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
