I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
