Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
