Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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