You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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