Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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