3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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