I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
