Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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