A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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