420 ftw
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
