She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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