his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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