There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
