dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
