ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
