i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
