Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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