I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
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I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize