when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
