Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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