3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
