Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
