You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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