Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
