sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
